What To Expect When Dating A Woman Who’s Been Single For A Long Time

Standard

by: Andrea Wesley

When you meet a woman who’s been single long-term and embark on a relationship together, there are some big differences you’ll notice from your past loves. For her, the transition from being completely independent to having someone around is a huge adjustment. She’s a harder nut to crack, so to speak, but once you figure her out, you’ll soon realize how absolutely worth it she is.

1. She’s used to alone time. She’s completely embraced the act of being alone and as such, she’s used to completing many life tasks and making attendances to gatherings solo. Having someone to do things with will be foreign at first, and she might opt to continue certain projects alone or hole up in her apartment to binge watch her favorite Netflix shows when you wish she was spending time with you instead. She needs a gradual transition into coupledom, so try to be patient.

2. She has protective walls in place. She’s been hurt before, which is likely the reason she’s spent a lot of time on her own. She’s more in tune with what she wants and needs in a partner, so she makes her selections carefully and keeps certain entrance points to her heart protected until she knows she can completely trust that your intentions are good and pure.

3. She wants to be vulnerable, but it takes a little more time. If she’s dating you, it’s because she really likes you. She’s probably crazier about you than you think, she just doesn’t show it as easily because she wants to be completely sure before she lets herself truly fall for you. She takes her time getting to know you before she rushes in full speed ahead because what she’s looking for is a long-lasting bond and she won’t sacrifice all the work she’s done on herself to achieve it.

4. She’s incredibly strong. She’s the definition of Miss Independent. She’s learned to be completely comfortable handling all of life’s challenges solo and because of this, she’s fiercely strong in a way that may make you wonder if she even wants you around. She does, which is why she’s dating you in the first place. This is also why she makes a great girlfriend, because she wants to date you despite having her life handled on her own.

5. You’ll wonder if she really likes you. She might not say overly flirty things in the beginning because she’s still figuring out in her head if it’s safe to do so. She’s no stranger to being let down and disappointed in relationships, so she really just needs a chance to sort it out in her head before she feels safe enough to let you in on how she’s feeling. If you’re patient and show that you can be trusted, you’ll feel more cared about than ever before, because when she actually shows her cards, she lays them down with her whole heart.

6. She’s scared. She’ll be apprehensive and at times she might even push back in fear of losing control of herself, since her control is her security. Keeping her emotions in check is the only thing she knows, so when she starts to feel real feelings, it catches her off guard and can make her feel like she needs to retreat temporarily to regain control of herself. It’s not personal, and she’ll come back.

7. She’s not used to having help, but eventually she’ll embrace it. If you try to offer her help and she declines, it might make you feel useless in her life. It isn’t intentional, she’s just used to doing everything and anything she needs to with her own two hands. Soon enough, though, you’ll be opening all her pickle jars and helping her with the heavy loads of groceries she carries expertly in one trip.

8. She doesn’t need you, she chose you. Above anything else, despite being completely OK on her own and content with handling all of life’s responsibilities solo, she’s chosen to invest her time and take a chance with you. It’s the purest form of affection and desire you could ever hope for, because the girl that’s been single for a long time doesn’t necessarily need a man in her life, but she’s chosen you anyway. She’s spent the time getting to know what she wants, and if you’re the one she’s picked, then congratulations — she’s a definite keeper.

– See more at: http://thebolde.com/what-to-expect-when-dating-a-woman-whos-been-single-for-a-long-time/#sthash.twIsDIG4.dpuf

Eating my heart out thanks to ULC!

Standard

I figuratively ate my heart out at the Urban Low Carb pop-up this past Saturday. My heart was at its happiest when tasting those delectable eats, and enjoying them GUILT-FREE!deck

See, I am on this so-called healthy eating buzz (well trying to be) but my biggest weakness is always the Confectionery section of a store.

The excitement I had when receiving the invite to come see (and taste)  these Wheat-free, gluten-free, sugar-free desserts, tarts and breads was insuperable.cheeskc

I honestly expected food that tastes like “nothing”, but to my surprise and DELIGHT, the treats were anything but tasteless! My absolute favourite was the Cheesecake and brownie combination, abundantly garnished with pecan nuts! Yum!

There was sooo much to choose from, and all beautifully presented. I also had (some of) the Vanilla baked cheesecake topped with a spicy berry coulis and dark chocolate ganache…quite spicy but tamed nicely with the creamy cheesecake underneath.

ULC

On display, for consumption, were different quiches:  two, chicken/sundried tomato/feta and kale/peppers/mushroom. Made with lovely cream and handfuls of cheddar cheese.  
Are you drooling yet?
It doesn’t stop there! Lusanda (my bff/plus one/photographer) was devouring the open sandwiches which are  made with Cocoloaf – low carb bread for which we grind a mixture of seeds and coconut flour. Have you ever??? It also had hints of cinnamon and the dough, a touch of himalayan pink salt.

guests ULC

The founders of this food movement are sisters, Naadia vd Bergh Olkers and Shireen vd Bergh, wishing to promote healthier options for a better life! The ladies were so excited and passionate about their brand and more than happy to share their ingredients. It’s important to know what one is eating, and even better if you have them make your meals for you!

REENO

For more information or to place an order, email: urbanlowcarb@gmail.com.

Sugar free. Low Carb. Gluten free. Halaal. Can be made dairy free and as I mentioned GUILT-FREE too!

Follow them on Instagram: @urbanlowcarb

There is no difference between life and a beauty pageant

Standard

I sometimes consider life to be like a pageant. Pretentious, competitive and an arduous battle.

People tend to go out of their way to impress the judges; to win the coveted crown and title.  Some turn to sabotaging their opposition and engage in immoral activities all to prove their worthiness. The irony of it all is that those competing are completely different yet so badly want the same thing.

Some contestants are insecure and you watch them mimicking others’ behaviour. The overly confident ones are like that because they are compensating for their insecurities.

Life is suddenly a complete juxtaposition of seeking ephemeral reward versus gaining eternal fulfilment.

The thing about pageants is that the judges seek a match for certain criteria and they will continuously tell you what you’re doing wrong instead of celebrating your strengths and affirming what you are doing right.

The saddest part is that we wilfully participate in these competitions because we want to stand out, because we are told that we belong to a certain mould or because we do not want to be rejected by society.

The danger about seeking approval from society is that you will never win. Being a loser goes against God’s word of saying you are victorious and more than a conqueror. How do you dominate and become fruitful with a defeated mentality?

The meaning of life is to give life meaning. When God asks you to go, you cannot be waiting for anyone else’s approval before you act.  God will use you as He created you, remembering the fact that you are made in His perfect image. God will give you experiences (bearable others not) that will shape you, humble you and make you complete.

God has handpicked you.  He has made you the head and not the tail, above and not beneath. He has bestowed upon you a crown of splendour that no pageant title can ever award.

Relish in that, because you already are a royal priesthood and a chosen generation!

pageant

28 REASONS TO NEVER VISIT PORT ELIZABETH

Standard

oh.four.one.

Photographic evidence of why you should NEVER visit the city of Port Elizabeth. Can you handle the sarcasm?

1. THE CITY IS THE ARMPIT OF SOUTH AFRICA…

PORT ELIZABETH BLOG city skyline Port Elizabeth Skyline. Source: Wright Photographic

2. DEFINITELY NOT PICTURESQUE…

Port Elizabeth Blog Arial view Arial view of Port Elizabeth

3. THE CITY HAS NO HERITAGE WHAT SO EVER…

PORT ELIZABETH BLOG Donkin Heritage Reserve. Source: Friendly City of Port Elizabeth

4. ALSO…THAT MOSAIC PATH IS PRETTY AVERAGE…CLEARLY NO ARTISTIC TALENT IN THE CITY

PORT ELIZABETH BLOG Mosaic path at Donkin heritage reserve. Source: Fine Art America

5. YOU HAVE NO WISH TO HANG OUT WITH ADORABLE LION AND TIGER CUBS…

PORT ELIZABETH BLOG SEAVIEW LION PARK …and a bulldog at Seaview Lion Park. source: Daily Mail UK

6. PLUS, YOU CAN’T STAND LION KISSES…EUGH

PORT ELIZABETH BLOG KWANTU Lion cub kisses.

PORT ELIZABETH BLOG Seaview Lion Park. Source: Phil Walter

7.THE BEACHES ARE COMPLETELY OVER-CROWED…YOU CAN NEVER GET A SPOT TO YOURSELF…

PORT ELIZABETH BLOG SARDINIA BAY Sardinia bay beach. Source: Travelstart / Andrew Barton

8.MEH…

PORT ELIZABETH BLOG BEACH Pollock Beach. Source: Radisson Blu Port…

View original post 461 more words

Sick of my dreams

Standard

I threw up everywhere. All over the floor, all over my bed. I was gasping for air and feeling completely overwhelmed. I’m sure I was having some sort of psychosomatic disorder, all brought on by my dreams.

Yes my dreams. They were not nightmares at all. They were too many, a plethora of active dreams keeping me awake, giving me night sweats and the worst kind of anxiety.

I’ve been feeling bereaved and lost for the longest time.

What on earth am I here for? Seriously, why do I wake up every single day? What difference am I making, what goal am I conquering, what view am I shaping?

Life cannot be about paying bills.

girl staring in fire

The pressure is insurmountable. The burden of having to tick my bucket list items is going to make me burst. Actually, I am bubbling right now.

Of course my family doesn’t understand. They keep telling me to wait it out, to see if something comes up, they want me to wait for tomorrow. The very same tomorrow that may never come. That tomorrow that is not promised. So I must wait for uncertainty, instead of paving my own life, dreams and meeting opportunity as I go along. They mean well, I know that. But I can’t wait. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I can’t- anything.

I am plagued by the vastness of my dreams. My mind is everywhere. Then there is this security lie that I am at war with. These man-made boundaries and industries making one feel enclosed and sheltered. They’re just money-making psychological structures. Ploys to keep you at bay. Not even the security I pay for, completely covers me. Why then are there terms and conditions?

Let me pray.

“BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD! I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU”

Ahhhh, and then I hear a clear, recognizable and soothing voice in my spirit! Peace. Thank you for visiting me. I have missed you.

I slept well for the first time in a long time. I slept knowing I can do it all if I just pace myself.

I woke up and quit my job.